FROM THE EDITOR [APRIL 1st 2005]

On average I have one customer a year who hassles other guests. Not a bad score, I would say, but yesterday I had two on the same day! It was still early afternoon when I went to BuGils. One gentleman, well dressed in an office outfit, was holding my book high in the air when I came in. "I want this book but it is too expensive!", he was shouting over the bar. He was clearly drunk. He tried to get support from other guests. But they, mostly older expats, quietly ignored him. My waitresses, afraid, pointed at me. "He is the author!", they chanted in choir. The drunk man stood still for a second with the book high in the air. Looking me sharply in the eyes I could see he was calculating the risks of his behavior. 'Are you the writer?', he asked me. I calmly nodded. "Your book is too expensive man! Give me a 50% discount and I buy it!" One customer, a huge Dutchman had enough of it. He threw a hundred Rupiah note on the bar. 'For Gods' sake give him that book and let him shut up or I will throw him in the lake!'. The irritating customer now realized he had to calm down or it would be trouble. He decided to look for 'safer' victims and started to hassle the staff. An old barman in Amsterdam once taught me that it is always best to ignore drunk customers as much as possible. The aggressive ones want attention but if they don't get it they give up in the end. Trying to get them out is often provoking more aggression. Besides that, in BuGils I don't have bouncers to help me out.

When the American left with his free copy of my book it was now the big Dutchman who started to get drunk. And he was huge, I mean really huge. I know him and he is an ok guy who is doing successful business at a high level. But a few times in the past I had troubles because of his behavior. Once, after ten (!) Long Island Cocktails he started to blow his drink in the faces of customers next to him, an innocent couple. At another time I was interviewing two potential candidates to become waitress. Can you imagine the night mares these two girls probably still have after this enormous 2.20 meter colossal Dutchmen started throwing not only peanuts at them but the 2,5 kilo bags as well! I still remember them running as fast as they could, out of the complex.

Last night he was in the mood again. He was all over the place and you could see the other guests peeking from the corner of their eyes, hoping he would move away from them. But some of them were unfortunate. He embraced his enormous hands around people around the bar, using his heavy body as a ballast.  As a schoolboy looking for some fun, he tried to set up discussions. Disturbing behavior but luckily innocent. It always ended with him kissing the fore head of his scared or irritated victims. Some guests were looking at me for help, but the guy was just too big. My Indian friend with his girlfriend was also cornered. I don't think his girlfriend will ever come back to BuGils.

New couples came in, taking the empty seats next to him. It was if as he always waited for that moment: when they cheered and took their first sip, then lighting would struck these innocent customers. Drinks splashed in their faces. The huge Dutchman had the time of his life. When I was making a phone call outside on the terrace,  Uci the cashier came in panic outside. "Bart! He is crazy! He is dangerous! He is eating the billiard balls!" I quickly went inside. There he was, sitting on the pool table with number 8 in his mouth. He looked at me as a wounded puppy. In the end the puppy was tired of playing and left quietly.

This morning at 6.30 I received the first SMS: 'I did it again, leaving without paying. What is the damage? I will send somebody directly'. At 6.45 it was followed by his second: 'I left my handphone, did your barmaids find it?' No. They didn't find it. We are also missing a billiard ball...  Strange... Could he really have swallowed the ...!? Naaah...-

More about the GLENMORE Sage: One more reader comes with a possible explanation for the existence of kampungs in East-Java of Scottish origin. Eddy de Jongh lived in Indonesia a couple of years ago and he had heard of the story that centuries ago a number of Scottish lived in the Dutch city of Gouda. But there they were very troublesome and the Dutch government decided to deport them to the Dutch-Indies. Here they were allowed to live and work but not within a 50km radius from the coast. I still haven't had the time yet to do more research, but I am not giving up yet. Next week also the pictures of these kampungs.
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